stories

hi all,

here's the rest of my winter break story.... a lil boy drama for you all to enjoy!

so... i've kinda had this lil crush on ameya for the last year (or more!) that i've been good about being in denial about. megan i assume you know who i'm talking about although i know you haven't really met him.. but this is a guy whom i grew up with and have played the "platonic best friend" with for some time now... i've done a good job of denying it.. playing it off as absurd when people suggest that we date.. and always suggesting people to him that he could date.. but then i'm always happy when he doesn't end up dating them :)

so the long version.. which i want to give you b/c i've never told you all and cuz it's all on my mind.. is that last year in december there was some night that ameya and i went out to eat.. we had a fun night.. ended up in his apt and ended up talking at his place until some odd hour of the night.. it was probably the first time that we were touchy feely and a bit flirtatious but nothing really came of it. that was the first night that i was like.. hmmm.. this could be good.. but then the next night i went to his sister's company party as her date. there she was telling people that i was her cousin (as every indian person does) but then she explained to me that we were really cousins.. so i got scared and stopped the whole interest in ameya thing.

so over the last year or so.. ameya and i have gotten really close.. i've started talking to him pretty much every night and it's wonderful. i mean even as just a friend, it's good.. but i've definitely felt a lot more possessive over him than i used to. so this halloween, i went to his party.. we all hung out for a long time.. and same thing.. by the end of the night.. it's just him and me hanging out, usually me laying in his lap and us talking.. for whatever reason nothing else ever happens!!! so since halloween, i've gotten out of denial and decided that i need to do something about this.. something like telling him what i'm thinking.. especially b/c now it's starting to see odd that we aren't dating, but i've always been afraid to talk to him about it.. so every time we hang out i'm too chicken to say anything.. i just am the way i always am.. flirting a lil but then stopping if it's too obvious. i've stopped the whole suggesting that he date other people, which is good.. and i've stopped telling him that he's my cousin (which i also used to do as a way to deflect anything... so stupid!!)

so finally at xmas time i decide to tell him... we have dinner right before xmas and i think i'm gonna say something but we don't get any time alone to do so (his friends showed up). at the same time.. we talk about this nonprofit in india that he's thinking about joining and basically at the same time that everything in my head works out about liking him, he gets this job in india!!!! so.. now this guy is moving to india.. and at the time he thinks it's gonna be the end of january.. i'm posting this now b/c i'm afraid i'm gonna lose it all and at least you can read this lil bit while i type.