haha

nope, meg - i never got hot and sweaty with anyone on your bed. at least, not that i remember. i don't think i've ever hooked up on any of my friend's beds. .

anyways, she walked in on us SLEEPING at 8am on jackie's bed. we decided to sleep there so as not to disturb nushie poo :) by the way, nush - i don't think i thanked you for waking me up and making me go to the buddy training thing. i definitely owe you one. you're the bestest :) i figured you must have picked up on something - i know you're not blind / dumb, but i felt bad that i didn't get to tell you about it outright.

no, we didn't hook up again on saturday. we started watching a movie in jackie's room and then fell asleep (again, we slept there so as not to wake up anusha).

yea, i don't know what's going on with the 18 year old he was dating. he wanted to come over so we could talk tonight, but i have training again till like 10 or so, so i think we might just talk tomorrow. i didn't do shit all weekend - i need to put away laundry and clean the kitchen/living room/bathroom. . .

jackie thinks it's good if we start dating. i feel retarded casue he's one of my closest friends, i've known him forever, and i don't know what i want. he's super sweet and nice and i know he'd treat me awesome. but i know him so well that i know there are things about him that drive me nuts. he's really jealous - like, if he just sees a guy talking to me he's like, "oh, that guy was hitting on you." and i hate that. i can't stand jealousy. and i don't know - he just knows how to push my buttons and how to piss me off. for real, if we started dating, i don't know how long that would last - and he's such a good friend to me, i wouldn't want to ruin that. i think i'm also just terrified of commitment, and i definitely wouldn't want to hurt him. and i love going out and partying with different guys and stuff, and i know he'd just be like, "so, who's jordan and why's he inviting you to these parties."

i don't know, maybe these are all just stupid excuses that i'm coming up with now, but i honestly don't know what i want right now. and i was too chicken shit to bring any of this up all weekend. oh well, i guess we'll talk today or tomorrow and figure all this shit out.